Coke made with sugar does kills sperm, probably because sperm soak it up. “The sperm just kind of explode.”

Deborah Anderson

Boston University Medical Centre

Hornii Meets Penguins in Antarctica, true story.

DEMON ENERGY DRINK NEW ZEALAND

Hailing from New Zealand and yet to conquer Australia, this new energy drink entrant has more of the ingredient that makes super hero taurine man more powerful.

If you thought bad publicity is no good for your image, then think again. The creators of demon energy drink, got into hot water with the radio ad for Demon Energy,  the ad claimed it  "won’t give you wings, it gives you horns" and directed listeners to its oversexed website.

On the website was some sexy demon girls, that looked like they consumed to many naughty energy drinks, thus resulting them to break Advertising Standards Authority rules.

I can see the Tasmanian hornii energy drink company making a similar radio ad.

"It won’t give you wings, it gets you hornii", do not visit our website but please visit your girlfriend, mistress, wife or lover.

or

"want to ram more sheep, get your horns more hornii…"

who said hell did not have a heaven for Kiwi demons!

via : stuff.co.nz

However, it agreed the website content "met the threshold to cause serious or widespread offence, taking into account generally prevailing community standards".

". . . the complaints board was unanimously of the view that a number of images on the website reached the threshold to be said to use sexual appeal to promote an unrelated product, an energy drink," it said.

It therefore partially upheld the complaint."

Got the chance to sample this new entrant to the Australian market. I was reflecting on how may new products were launched in the USA (sigh), something like a thousand NEW non-alcoholic beverages are introduced. So if the population of the USA is 301,139,947 (July 2007 est.), then the launch rate for Australia should be like 70 new launches a year. The theory looks good on paper but the reality is another story in another post..

Will we ever see the landscape change from Coca Cola, Pepsi and Schewppes? I doubt it, the non alcoholic drinks sector is the biggest ironic, superficial, plastic fantastic tit job going around in Australia.

We have the top end of town portraying Coca Cola, Pepsi and Schewppes products as super premium, super quality, super duper, ants pants bla, bla, bla. Have a look at the Melbourne Cup to see the hypocrisy, same products are served in the carpark as they are served for the super rich corporate tents.

They say marketing today is all about about the physcolgical reward and thats how they price a product accordingly.

Coca Cola, Pepsi and Schewppes fridges are an eye sore, they stick out like an albino Tasmanian Devil on Rottnest Island.

So why are these Coca Cola, Pepsi and Schewppes fridges and products found in the food areas of micro breweries? Where is the logic, how does the boutique experience apply to the mass produced non alcholic foreign experience? Can the marketing dollars of Coca Cola, Pepsi and Schewppes override logic and domestic competitors marketing attempts?

It makes no sense how micro breweries are exploding in Australia and you have these Australian yobbos in the media tallking arty farty about the characteristics of what makes micro brews so special and unique, bla, bla , bla. Yet when it comes to the non alcoholic drinks side, you see and hear them worshipping a coke or some other sugarless tasteless, inferior piss product from the Coca Cola, Pepsi and Schewppes stable.

A decade ago, if you had asked an Aussie to name their favourite brew, the answer would probably have been VB, Tooheys or XXXX. How things have changed. In recent years, a new brand of brewery has emerged in Australia. Small commercial breweries (known as microbreweries) are popping up across the country, challenging the existing trend of mass-produced beer, and slowly reinvigorating the collective imagination of Aussie beer guzzlers.

travelaustralia.ninemsn.com.au

So who is challenging the existing trend of mass-produced non alcoholic drinks, and slowly reinvigorating the collective imagination of non alcoholic drink guzzlers? Nutrient water by Nutrient Water Pty. Ltd. in Victoria.

I had a meeting up in Malaga, Western Australia and stopped by a local deli run by an Asian family who have the courage to stock some new products besides the tit enhanced Coca Cola, Pepsi and Schewppes stable.

On the lower levels, out of the important eye level shelf, lay a lonley few newish Nutrient Water bottles.

I selected the flavor Passionfruit Citrus due to the "sexual connotation" on the label.

Directions: Mix with individuals displaying symptons of tiredness, fatigue or severe procrastination.

Warning Excess consumption may result in the desmise of alarm clocks, motivational speakers, personal

trainers, and phrases like"not tonight honey, I’m too tired ."

It tasted ok, nothing spectacular in the taste department, but better tasting than Gatorade as for the performance test, my honey was not home. Use your imagination, my fellow Aussie non alcoholic drink guzzlers.

What Stimulation drink are ROCKSTARS drinking these days?

Have you heard of fever beverages, they claim their functional beverage is designed to enhance pleasure and body sensation.

 

What do you get with sex and h20?

A shop front similar to the ones found in the red light district in Amsterdam!

Born Stupid or born in a society of stupids? 

For the uber-rich, who have a blingy lifestyle can now go even more overboard with Bling H20, yes…the bling bottle of water costing, £30. Bling H2O comes in 750ml frosted bottles studded with sparkling Swarovski crystals. The bling water was earlier meant just for Hollywood celebs and hi-fi socialite circle, but now you can gulp it down all for £30. Now, if you think, the whole idea of this couture water to be real hideous, then folks, you need a chill pill, for even more hideous is Paris Hilton pouring a drink of this couture water to guess whom…yeah, her pampered poochie…now, this is ridiculous!!

via Neatorama / TheSun